Few months ago, me and The Wandering Minstrel were arguing over why I had stopped blogging. I told TWM this,"There is a vast difference between a Ferrari and a Toyota. You see,Toyota spawns a new car every now and then - eco-friendly, driver-friendly, every-friendly; in short lame. But you know Ferrari, they roll out one car after every 100 years because they know that that car is going to RULE for 100 more to come". As expected TWM got pissed and showed me the tongue. The fact is, I am not a fan of Ferraris. I infact love Toyota because it caters to everyday needs. I love them not because they are available everywhere; but because they tell what you need rather than what you want. TWM might agree to this.

For the aliens from Mars, TWM is a fellow blogger, a fellow traveler and a dear dear sister to me.

There are at least 10 reasons for why I did not blog for so long. But I will give you the most cliched ones for the others might be too unbelievable for most. I was busy with work. Oh yes, and I was too busy with something rare.

After 25 years of living, I finally found one material thing that I loved to do. You see, in the last one year, I bought three things, each complimenting the other in some way. In Feb '09 I bought my first D-SLR - the Nikon D40. If you are wondering what a D-SLR is, it stands for Digital Single Lens Reflex. I don't know shit of what SLR means. What I know for sure is, it takes kick-ass pictures. I have always wanted to take pictures of things that seem very mundane but can portray something different.

In Aug I bought the second hallow (as in Harry Potter:And the Deathly Hallows). The MacBook Pro. It is amazing. Nay, the most amazing thing I've had so far. I am in absolutely love with the ease of use of a Mac and the lack of worries of virus attacks and constant system crash or low battery levels. Although the purpose of buying a Mac was work it has easily taken over life as well. And work, brings me to the third hallow: iPhone. Wow. What a device. Something in my heart tells me this is the future. Not the iPhone, the technology.

So I was busy. With these things. Taking pictures, most of which are uploaded on my facebook and orkut accounts; working on my Mac, projects and assignments; projects and assignments for iPhone. What a semester. Making a game for iPhone which might be up on the AppStore for all to download for free, working on my career a bit and etc.

Well that is what life has come to. Work. Work. and Work. and tensions and pressures. So, this blog's as lame as my life right now.

A warm fall breeze hits the window of my office and I hear a small squeaking sound, beckoning me to open the panes. Calling me to open up. To let go, free fall. I get up and the view outside unveils its beauty to me. Opening up herself like the newly wed girl. Shy but willing, scared but confident.

I watch and my heart races. It skips beats after beats, enthralled and enthusiastic. It has not felt so in months. Since the last time I saw your face. Smiling yet having tears in eyes. The pain of parting, thought of not being able to feel your touch. To breathe your freshness, feel taken by your beauty. I will be back, for you.

I see out of the window and dark clouds gather. I smile feeling the gloom within me gathering. I observe its playful destruction. Slowly killing me inside. And suddenly it stops. Possibly some remnant of my past. I smile again, reminded again and again of my limitations. The want to let go, free fall. Feel the nothingness of 'being'. Random thoughts spawn random ideas and random words. This blog is a result of such. I get up again and go to my window.

Warning : This post is not for minors, people with a weak heart, and HYPOCRITES

It was late that evening on a summer day a few years back… An incident that I did not share with anyone for the simple reason that there was no point then. Not that there is any now. But things happen and some things remain with you all through your life. It was one of those nights.

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I was unaware that her presence in my life was this significant until that night we spent together. I haven’t mentioned her in my previous blog because she is a woman unlike any other. Yes, a woman, definitely a woman and not a girl. My first love. My last resort.

She has the strength yet she was non-conceited. Her beauty is unbridled yet her heart is untouched by it. She can be a smooth talker and a lioness at the same time. She can take you to unmatched heights and drop you to unfathomable depths. This is her story. In one night…

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It was late in the evening on a summer day and I was tired from the long submission weeks and assignment completions that dog any normal engineering student all through his student life. I was not meeting any deadlines and everything seemed piled on top my head. You know the point where you just don’t do anything and let it all go by. It was something like that. I dropped my pen, threw away my sheets, shut my p.c. and sat at my table doing nothing for what seemed eternity of peace. Suddenly I got up and left the home… went down. I knew she was waiting there. Something told me, while on the table, that she was waiting there… and she was… she had an ability… god knows where she got it… but she could bring a smile on my face the moment I saw her. And without saying a word we left the place.

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I was hungry and saw my watch… 10 pm… she gave me a look that said ‘Why worry about anything? Why worry even about hunger and time?’ This was going to be a different than any other night.

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I saw her moon kissed body, glistening and moving as we moved together. Every time we kissed, it lasted for ever. Every time we turned, she tilted her head and I leaned over her. She sighed and moaned and every time she did that, time seemed to fly by. I forgot about the world. She wanted me to. Just that moment existed between us. “Forget the girl who is not with you. It’s neither her nor your fault. Forget the times you failed, and the times you faired. Forget that you have fallen behind in the ‘rat race’, you are not a rat. Forget your friends, who were never yours, they will move on, you should too. Forget life, forget time. Remember now.” She said and let a moan saying that she was in that moment and I should be too. I was.

It was pitch dark and all I could see were her eyes. We were riding the waves of emotions, of passion, love and into that dark night with me on her. Every once a while we would stop to take a small breather before starting from where left. I held her hand tight to bring her in control and she beckoned me to lose any control that I ever had on myself. And I let things be that way for the night. The pleasure had reached to the point of no return. Such passionate love I had never experienced nor heard of. She was after all my first love.

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I held her tight, close to me, for the last time… before the sun rose and it was time for me to return. I indicated by showing her the rising sun when I noticed how beautiful she looked when the first rays kissed her naked body. The sweat shone, and she smiled, realizing I was looking at her. She signaled that we leave and we did…

After an hour we reached our destination. I stopped her… this was as far as she could come… put her in neutral, and let her idle for a minute… turned her keys to stop the engine and parked her. I left, and gave a look, thinking she would be there every day.

My first love, my Pulsar 150.

This one is dedicated to all the women in my life. Women who need not necessarily influenced me but were and are a huge part of my life. I wonder what man would have done without Nature's most beautiful and subtle creation. Men might say a million words, do thousands of actions that are derogatory to a woman, but in the end, we know we can't live without them. This one's dedicated to all those and many more. Those who are and those who might come some day.

@ Aai :
you are my first word. you made me the person i am. i lay my head at your feet. no more words can ever say what i feel.

@Pallu :
you my child in the form of my lil sis. i will always be there for you, no matter what. u the best sister a brother can ask for, because you fight, u hit, u don't put ur things where they should be, u buy the most redundant pairs of shoes i the world and u study too much. but u also call me dada and not saumitra, u sometimes cry and need me. u think i m a nice brother. u make great pasta cool mashed potatoes and awesome pav-bhaji. the list is endless and i will get bored eventually u know that..

@my both Maushi and Didi
u r all my second moms.

@ Prutha :
if things could have been different, you would still be teaching me stuff, at the time that i needed to know it. u were my best friend and will always be. you made every single moment we spent together special by just being you.

@Reema :
as always, loads to tell and hear. but silence will always speak between us. not a day passes by without thinking of u. u r crazy, not as much as me but u come close. n so u'll always b my lil sister. prasanna is lucky to be married to u. i now christen u "BONG-AMMA".

@Priyanka, Ketki :
ur company is the most enjoyable. pinx, r date is still on.. ketki-kaku, happy married life.

@M :
since the day u came in my life, u have brightened my every day. ur love can only be matched by a mother. u r not going to read this blog so i want to tell everyone who does that i love you and i am crazy abt u.